Sorry, I’m in the baby fog.

I had my third girl three weeks ago, via c-section. I had a good hositpal stay, came home early because we were doing so well, and had a lot of support from my amazing husband and mom.
But I have to tell you… the baby fog is REAL. They warn you about the sleep deprivation of the early newborn days. But they don’t remind you that it lasts for weeks, months! That you feel like you are in a daze, fog, or cloud.

This is the stage I’m in. And I’m sorry, but not sorry. I’m saying no to everything. It’s all about baby, and it’s all about recovery. Everything else is not on my radar right now.
Days and nights flow seamlessly into one another, and I’m not sure what day of the week, or even month it is. The first weeks home, especially after a c-section, are filled with medication, nursing, exhaustion, and staring at my perfect newborn.
Then at week three postpartum, my problem became over exertion. I felt better, relatively, and wanted to get moving. I tried resuming my chores and keeping up with my older kids. Organizing closets and sending thank you notes. My body revolted and sent me even deeper into the fog. More time in bed. More exhaustion. More humbly asking for help.
So now, I’m slowing down until my body tells me it’s getting better. Wow, this is so rough for me. I hate sitting, waiting, healing. I pray daily that God would speed up the process, but I get the feeling he is teaching me something here, in the fog.
I’m learning to listen to my body. I’m learning to ask for help. I’m learning to let go of guilt and “should be.” I’m taking it one day at a time. And I’m enjoying the ever-present face of my newborn. Through the pain, the discomfort, the exhaustion, she’s so worth it.

Soon the fog will clear. But for now, I’ll just embrace this stage.


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